"We first met the boys on my 40th birthday so that was the best birthday present ever."
That's the moving experience of Mark who, along with his partner Karl, adopted two brothers under the age of 10 earlier this year.
The couple had spoken about adopting for a long time and started their journey in May 2023 by going to an information evening with Adoption Lancashire and Blackpool.
After further discussions, the couple decided to adopt a sibling group as they knew they wanted to have more than one child.
"It's the best thing that's ever happened to us," Mark said. "That doesn’t mean that we haven’t had challenges, but the challenges we've had are no different to what a birth parent would have with their children.
"The family all say it feels like the boys have been part of the family forever.
"It was a brilliant process and as we were going ahead we had a lot of questions, which all got answered.
"We met an amazing social worker and there's been so much support from everyone involved from Adoption Lancashire and Blackpool.
"We're in a WhatsApp group with a couple of the people we were on the journey with. There's also a closed Facebook group where people can ask questions."
Karl admits it was a nerve-wracking experience when they first met their sons, but the couple knew instantly that they were meant to be a family.
He said: "We read their profile and something connected, so we spent a good couple of months thinking about them and trying to get a picture in our heads of what they'd look like, what they'd act like, what their personalities were.
"When we got to meet them it was a relief. We just said it feels absolutely right and if we could have we would have taken them home that day. They were just our boys, there was never any doubt.
"Mark had always said he wanted kids before he was 40 so it was funny that we met our boys on his 40th birthday. Maybe there was a bit of fate involved.
"The boys have just fitted into our family and extended family, it just feels absolutely normal and meant to be. It's a great feeling."
Mark and Karl are also hoping to maintain contact with the boys biological parents, which is known as an open adoption.
Mark explained that this is very important to the couple.
"Their identity is from their birth parents and it's a big part of who they are," he said.
"It's something we embrace positively and we're really happy to be part of."
The couple have shared their experience at the start of National Adoption Week, which aims to increase understanding of modern adoption and show that the journey to a family is not always a traditional one.
A survey by You Can Adopt found that 87% of the public feel it’s important to teach children that families come in all shapes and sizes.
Cllr Cosima Towneley, cabinet member for Children and Families said:
"It's so wonderful to hear Mark and Karl's experience of becoming a family with their two boys.
"There is a whole network of adopters, like this couple, who can help you along your own adoption journey.
"If you’ve ever thought about adopting then I'd really encourage you to go along to one of Adoption Lancashire and Blackpool's information evenings. There's no pressure to commit and it's a great way of getting any of your questions answered.
"We have families of all shapes and sizes – Let us help you shape your future family."
Louise Anderson, chair of Adoption Lancashire and Blackpool, said:
"Adoption is a life-changing decision for anyone to make, but as Mark and Karl have explained, there is so much support along the way.
"It's really important to be able to keep brothers and sisters together and we find that they often settle into a family quicker together when they can protect that important sibling bond.
"But it's not just sibling groups that we need to find families for, we are always looking for people to adopt individual children of all ages."
Cllr Jim Hobson, Blackpool Council's cabinet member for Children’s Social Care, said:
"It’s always wonderful to hear from people who have gone through the adoption process and how much difference this has made to theirs and a child's life.
"If you have any questions our team would love to hear from you and they can help you make that first step towards adoption."
Adoption Lancashire and Blackpool would love to meet you at their next adoption information evening on Wed 6 November at County Hall.
You can book to attend an information evening to find out more about adoption.
Published: 23 October 2024
